Monday 30 May 2011

Da Doc's Konar (1)

Greetings my fellow homo sapiens!

This is a new segment that Mr. Smear T is putting up for the readers!! Da Doc's Konar will host a number of guests in this segment to talk about their experiences and knowledge they have gained throughout life.

Life is not merely just a four letter word which starts with the letter "L", but the vast diversity of meanings towards the entire personification of the word signifies the well-being of the "infestification" throughout the time during which man journeys. The walk of life throughout history has been unique by whomever dared to strike the first leg out, no matter if its the left or the right leg.

In the absence of the great minds who had forged history, namely, Albert Einstein, Malcolm X, Kunta Kinte, and Mr. Smear T's personal best, Samir Aris, Da Doc will try his best to get them to Da Doc's Konar in ways which only Da Doc knows which surpasses the limited knowledge of an average human being.

Despite of the major development in Science and Technology, none can compare to the massive reincarnation (not susu carnation) of the manifestation of Da Doc's ability to manipulate minds of the pseudo generation.

Da Doc, who recently obtained a Degree in Pseudology from the University of Meng Arut in the Northern territory of the South of the Eastern tribe of Z. Zainal somewhere near Kampung Bedok will try to make this segment fun and exciting...


To Hermi Rizal who has left a comment on the previous post... i have to disagree to what u said before about M.B.R is the one who discovers "da konar".. The reason is because long before the existence of "da Konar", gangs from the peaceful Sembarangz had already discovered the impact of "Da Macho Konar" which evolves to be "da Konar".... The pic below proves it all:

Da Macho Konar 2000

So Mr. Razor, I hope you stop all this funny funny stunts in claiming things for the M.B.R...!! Its the Sembarangz that were the pioneers!!

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahah!!!

Nantikanlah!!


Wednesday 25 May 2011

Jom dukMakan (J.D.M) (2)

Selamat Morning Pot-W!!

Saye Mr. Smear T ingin meminta maaf kepada semua!! Mintalah maaf, Zahir dan batin...! I am so sorry... lo siento....

i know, i know, i promised u guys n gals and man and woman, males and females, that Mr. Smear T will jln jln cari makan and take many many pictures... u know i tried lah u guys... but the problem is that, the problem actually very small and simple, but its big lah for Mr. Smear T. Mr. Smear T makan ok je... jln jln ok je... makan lagi, ok je... jln jln lepas makan lagi, kadang2 ok je... tapi the big masalah is that, u know lah Mr. Smear T ni Mr. Forgetful jugak...

everytime Mr. Smear T kluar, Mr. Smear T tak bawak camera lah... so everytime forget moget... i go out, i eat, i walk walk, i eat again, i no take pictures lah... because i enjoys the food then eat many many, i forget... lucky got water... wash down lah people say... like my sister like to say, "Balaas...!"

i think i may have to shut down this segment lah... because i dont think it will happen... Mr. Smear T also dont like to bring camera lah... very irritating lah... Mr. Smear T dont like to carry extra things lah when he go walk walk...

So i guess.... SORRY seems to be the hardest word....

Thursday 19 May 2011

bgn pagi gosok gigi (5)

hello Pot-W,

today Mr. Smear T bangun dari tido, sth sad happen to Mr. Smear T lah... i hope fans wont get angry and sad.... Mr. Smear T punye biji mata lebam lah... tak tau pulak kenape..? ni mesti ade orang antar bomoh kat Mr. Smear T.... dengki melayu tu masih lagi tak dpt dihapuskan... damn!

skrng apekan daya, Mr Smear T mata pun lebam, hidung pun block, rambut pun kerenting, kaki pun sakit, gigi pun belum gosok! argh!!! DUNIA! DUNIA!!

The only way to sooth the feeling right now is to listen to lagu lagu M. Nasir!!! steady ah Nasir!! gua caya sama lu beb!! adoi! mataku sakit!! argh!!! nak minta ubat, tapi tak tau mane satu... ade jiran pharmacist pun, die tak layan... haiz... ade members doktor pun, kasi advice "gi doctor lah.." yek eleh....

Time time gini lah every child misses his Mom... jadi dgn ini aku tujukan lagu "Bonda" yg dicipta dan dinyanyikan M. Nasir

 

HARAP ENJOY!!!


ape ape picit send!

Wednesday 18 May 2011

As per requested: My new HQ

Hello People of the World!! (Pot-W!!)

Da Face
As requested by chelmanu2, (entah siape entah ni orang...?? gadis misteri mane entah?? eksyen betul!!) Encik Smear T telah pun memetik gambar di HQ baru beliau!! dan followings adalah gambar gambar nya!
Da WatchTower

Da Job


La Posta

Da Rilek Korna
Road to Da Kitch
Highway to Hell



Da Kitch
Da Pool
Da Spa





Da Back

Da Jungle

 I hope that this is enough to tickle ur bones chelmanu2! Will have more time to update the segments hopefully next week!!

Anyways!! Da Doc gotta go!!

Always nice to hear from you.... and keep on Nantikanlah!!





Thursday 12 May 2011

Jom dukMakan (J.D.M)

Hola!!

ini adalah segmen baru. segmen ini will show you around places di mana kite di Adelaide, South Australia pergi jalan jalan cari makan... yes i know, segmen ini akan membuat Smear T menjadi gemuk, tetapi walaubagaimanapun, Encik Smear T akan terus menjalankan segmen ini demi untuk kebahagian Fans!! and Die Hard Fans Smear T.... mcm dulu time kegemilangan pasukan nasional singapura time malaysia cup dahulu, Smear T tidak akan hampakan u all...

jgn segan jgn pilu jgn paisey... jikalau anda ade idea idea tempat best utk rilek dukMakan, please advise!

jadi, kpd Pot-W! Nantikanlah!

Wednesday 11 May 2011

bgn pagi gosok gigi (4)

Good Morning Pot-W!!!

Today i wake up, its the cold... its the cold, becoz its the rain falling down outside.... wasted manggo man... becoz, i really really have to cuci kain baju... now i have to wait.... i hope no need wait long long... short short enough lah....

Alhamdulillah, matahari pun sudah terbit dari kegelapan malam dan muncul dari belakang awan... but still the wet lah... so have to wait...

Actually pade pagi ini, i dont have alot to talk about lah... other than saying Good Morning, i dont know what else to say lah...but thats life... sometimes u know what to say, sometimes u dont.... and sometimes Cat Stevens cross the road also....

Today is Wednesday. how do i make good use of wednesday? aaahh!! i know! i am going to learn how to cook!! my usual special!! Fried Tuna Cordon Deux with Copa Dela Vega Sesame Noodles... cheh! steady lah Mr. Smear T....

ape nak buat, gotta learn how to cook... pompan zaman skrng kan asyik nak makan take outs je... sikit2 McDonalds... sikit2 warong pak Jabit... sikit2 simpang Bedok... sikit2 Fel-Fella...

So Now! we have to do it guys and Boys of the World!!! Learn to cook! Dont be a spook!


Thats it for now y'all!! see ya!!

Friday 6 May 2011

Siapakah Chelmanu2??

Hello Pot-W!!

ini segment baru khas buat kite mencari dan meneka siapakah Chelmanu2 itu...? adakah ia dari golongan manusia?? ataupun daripada golongan makhluk yg dinamakan Haiwan atau Jinn?? hahaha!! jgn marah...

Siapakah Chelmanu2 itu?? siapakah gerangan yg berani mengintip dan menceburi lelaman blog Smear T ini..?? adakah die seorang gadis yg merupakan Natalie Portman atau Jessica Alba?? kalau iye!! please leave ur name, phone number and facebook account.... kalau anda seorng gadis yg disamakan Syarifah Aini atau Macy Gray, harap jauhkan diri pada ku.... hehehe... dan juga, kalau anda seorang lelaki yg boleh disamakan seperti Awie dan Amy Search, maka, ok lah utk lu berRilek dgn gua.... tetapi jikalau sekiranya anda lelaki yg sama seperti Jalaludin Hassan atau M.Rajoli atau A.Galak, i am sorry bro... bagaikan cerita Kassim Selamat, "Pergi kau main jauh jauh disana, ape kau buat disini...?!!!"

So, Pot-W, u decide.... or u teka!!!

Thursday 5 May 2011

Takde Kerje Cari Kerje

Hello Pot-W!!

Ini segment khas buat makhluk misteri yg bernama, "Chelmanu2".

This is the exact example of Takde Kerje Cari Kerje (TKCK)... Apabila seseorang insan itu takde kerje, maka die akan sedaya upaya mencari kerje... seterusnya mencari kerje dan mencari pasal dgn komen komen yg tidak seharusnya... iye! saye Smear T masih marah dgn perlian beliau, maka juga tetap Rilek!! tetapi jgn ragu jgn risau, Smear T akan eventually find out siapa gerangan.... seperti dulu pertemuan kita di bus security University of Adelaide menuju ke Kent Town, Smear T juga akan mengenal siapa kamu Chelmanu2!!

HAHAHAHAHHAA!!! (evil laugh) hahahaahahah!!

bgn pagi gosok gigi

Selamat Pagi Selamat Sore pade semua!!!

Mrang prapu!! cis bedebah!! minta sorry byk2 people of the world (P.O.T.W atau pot-w) kalau pagi pagi ini saye dlm kemarahan...

ape tidak...? pagi pagi gua bangun and mau gosok gigi, gua tercheck blog gua, gua ternampak sesuatu!

POT-W bertanya ramai-ramai : "Nampak ape encik Smear T???!!"

gua ternampak comment seseorang insan yg hanya ingin dipanggil "chelmanu2" telah mengkommen buruk terhadap liverpool fans!! seperti Ajis Sattar telah mengatakan di dlm lakonan seninya Bujang Lapok, "ini tak boleh jadi man! ini mesti kene bedal man!" cis bedebah, keju terbelah! seperti pisahnye langit dan bumi, sama juga Liverpool Fans dgn Non-Liverpool fans....

tetapi apekan daya, badan tak kuasa. memang betul hati ini diisi dgn penuh kemarahan dan api yg bergelogak terbakar seperti lighter "Cricket" yg hanya 50sen kalau beli di msia, gua tetap rilek!! jiwa gua rilek seperti jiwa dan philosophy band terkenal di Singapura, "M.B.R" (Mat Banyak Rilek). di pagi yg indah dgn suasana angin dingin bersepoi sepoi berkucup di pipi gua ini, gua rase gua harus bykkan mempraktikkan ilmu "rilek" ini. kerana dgn ilmu Rilek inilah akan gua bina mahligai di dunia ini.

Jadi marilah kite semua Rilek dan berdamai...! alangkah indahnye jikalau satu dunia ini Liverpool fan.. tetapi gua tahu, bak kate omputih, "the world is not perfect!"

So i guess, thank you very much for the time POT-W. so who is this Chelmanu2??? i do not know... i hope that someday he will come to his senses and rilek.... btw Siapa gerangan??

Sampai sini aje lah segment"bgn pagi gosok gigi" ini. HARAP MAKLUM, HARAP ENJOY dan Nantikanlah!!!

Bedtime Stories

Hello people of the world!!

Here, in this segment, i will write and talk about some tales and short stories to fill the emptiness in the lives of the lonely creatures all over the world. These tales will include stories told by my ancestors and the people around. Please do not believe these tales or myths and legends, keep an open mind towards the stories and if it gives a meaningful lesson to any individuals out there, feel free to learn from it.

there will be popular fan favourite stories such as, "Sang Kancil dengan Sang Buaya", "Sang Harimau dgn Sang Nila Utama", "Si Luncai dgn labu labunya!" biarkan..... dan juga, not forgetting the top ten favourite, "Sang Mellow dgn Sang Possum" and "Sang Wan and Sang Russian Girl" hehe..

ok no hal no worries
naik kapal naik lorries!

ape ape HARAP ENJOY and Nantikanlah!

Monday 2 May 2011

bgn pagi gosok gigi

hello hello hello!!!

today's pagi, saye terkejut! kenape?! why?! por que??

becoz i got my first comment msg from Mellow!! haha!! jakun betul...!! so thank you mellow!!

so lets start the segment proper...

today i wake up i didnt gosok gigi straightaway... instead, i bukak computer and turned on the liverpool vs newcastle game which was on last night!!

what a wonderful week for liverpool fans!! liverpool win!! Man U lose!!! hahaha! padan muke si setan setan semua!! but no hal... no worries... esok malam makan strawberries...

 argh shit!! sorry fans... i have to go for a bit... ade masak ikan kat dlm oven... dah terlambat ni nak kene keluarkan.... kalau tak hangus hitam belegam mcm tapak kaki beruang...

i come back later!!!

HARAP ENJOY dan Nantikanlah!!!